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What not to say to a new parent …

This is my first post since our Nelly’s been born and I thought it was only right it would be a list and a rant because why not?!

Since having her in our lives it has been highlighted how much of a nervous wreck I have become. I am scared and so aware of absolutely everything. Every little noise, every person’s sneeze, movements, how people drive, the list could go on .. the world is a scary place to bring a baby into in my eyes .. for the first 4 days after we got home from the hospital I was afraid to even take her into the garden let alone think about taking her out of the house. The thought of people coming near her and touching her made me want to cry and I did even at the though of it. The first outing we did was to a bar round the corner from our house just for some breakfast, and all was well (I’d packed 8 nappies, a pack of baby wipes, a box of nappy bags and a change of clothes, oh and 2 bottles .. we were home within the hour!!) Until a man was walking his dog off the lead and it came up to the pram and I just freaked out and burst into tears .. what I’m trying to get to here is how scared us new parents are of everything, so we really do not need to hear silly comments from people we know or don’t. Here are a few that I have heard since having her (she’s not even 3 weeks old)

1. “So how are you feeling?” – Fucking tired. Am I allowed to say that now? I’m a tired, nervous, hormonal weepy wreck if you must know!

2. “Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding?” – All you need to know is my baby is being fed thank you. How is none of your business.

3. “Ooh I’m tired” – How fucking dare you?!

4. “Isn’t she too hot/cold?” – Ah, the judgemental twats … Look, it’s taken me hours and even days to convince myself to bring my baby out so don’t start criticizing how I’m looking after my daughter. If she was too hot or cold she would cry thank you and I’m not a complete fucking imbecile.

5. “How old is he/she?” – I took Nelly out for a friend’s birthday lunch and she has a pink head support, pink blankets, pink bows on her pram (my mum’s addition not mine!) and she has a pink dummy in her mouth saying Nelly .. the first thing I was asked by someone I don’t even know was “aww how old is he?” Now don’t get me wrong, it’s 2018 .. if you want to cover a baby boy in pink blankets be my guest … but does she really look like a he?!?!?!

6. “Oh I didn’t do that with my baby” – Whether it be dummies, how they’re dressed, how you’re feeding them, everything is going to be commented on and judged my small minded people unfortunately. Yes she has a dummy, not all the time because she is in a constant battle with using her hand as a dummy or using the actual dummy, but if it makes my baby happy then it’s none of your concern thank you.

7. “Ohh is he babysitting?” – No, the father of my child is not babysitting thank you, he’s parenting. Get with it!!!

8. “So when are you back at work?” Followed by the judgey look when I say she will be put into nursery at 4 months. What would you prefer? Me to leave her home alone?

9. “You should sleep when the baby sleeps?” Ohh ok and who is going to clean the house and do the dinner and the washing and take hundreds of photos of her sleeping then?!

Basically I think we all just need a pat on the back, a hot cup of tea (ha ha ha!!) and some words of encouragement and that will be enough thank you. Don’t forget the saying “if you’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say it!”




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